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What kind of a life do you want?

  • A life filled with ease?
  • Joyous and fulfilling relationships?
  • Freedom to do and to be what you want?
  • A Healthy and Capable body

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Drosophila, or the fruit flies, is a genus of flies from the Drosophilidae family of Drosophila_melanogaster_-_side_(aka)the Diptera order. They are widely ranging throughout the world, and are named for their habit of laying eggs, and existing as larvae and pupating on rotting fruit. Due to ease of breeding and captivity, one member of this genus, Drosophila melanogaster, has long been used as a model organism for studying genetics and many other biological traits. This species is often used educationally, with many generations of students in biology breeding flies for eye colors in order to learn mendelian genetics. I myself bred many of these flies during my undergraduate degree, and did feel I perhaps owed them something due to their assistance in learning. I also once, during a meditative journey to a version of earth in the future, having solved the problems of miasms and distortions afflicting our current earth, I saw a vision of a Dipteran. It was a beautiful being, with complex large multifaceted iridescent wings. Telepathically I communicated with this being, and it communicated gratitude to me due to my assistance, due to the performing of a C12 trituration on a member of the diptera, which kickstarted their evolution into a healthier and more fulfilled form. During an outbreak of fruit flies in my own home, I found the dead body of one individual and triturated it. I strongly suspect the species was Drosophila melanogaster, but cannot confirm this exactly, so have settle on the genus, which I am sure of. The remedy was triturated by myself alone. The timing of this trituration was interesting in terms of the larger geopolitical trends of the current time. I do feel this remedy had a large resonance to the personage of Hilary Clinton, in her desire to do good in the world, to follow her political calling, while receiving a disproportionate amount of hate for doing so. I have long suspected that Secretary Clinton would respond to a remedy in the Diptera, though perhaps not this one. This remedy was triturated during the tail end of her 2016 election campaign for the presidency, and was completed 2 days before James Comey announced he was reopening an investigation into her mishandling of classified emails on a private server that, according to some analysts, cost her the election[i]. And even now, I am transcribing this trituration during late August- early September 2018, when the resulting Trump presidency appears to be falling apart due to it’s own internal divisions. This is an extract from my book: The Table of Animals: Ecdysozoa: The Insects.

 

C1-3

 

The first three levels of this remedy present a picture of a being who experiences a calling, a great and true desire to participate in sexual activities of a particular nature. The nature of these activities are not detailed, but they are likely activities not approved of by society at large, such as kink, polyamory, bondage, domination, homosexuality or other taboos. These are not passing desires, but are deep and true callings for the being, from the deepest nature of it’s self. However, the being feels great shame due to the social disapproval of it’s practices. It feels inferior, lesser than, even defective and flawed compared with others that do not feel it’s calling. The being can even sink into depression. A number of physical symptoms of depression can be present, such as reduced appetite, loss of enjoyment of sensations, such as taste, anhedonia, aching of joints, and heaviness of limbs and body. However the being accepts this with great humility, sinking lower and lower into depression. Despite this depression however, the being still would not stop it’s sexual calling. However, in it’s worst state, the depression can be so extreme as to deprive the being of the joy it’s gives them as well. This remedy is also notable for lacking many of the modern self destructive manifestations of depression, such as self loathing, though indeed I would not rule out suicidal ideation or propensity in more extreme states.

 

C1:

Performed October 15th 2016:

  • A feeling of dirtiness, grittiness, being raunchy
    • But I also feel quite shy. This raunchiness isn’t due to confidence. It is part of myself that I am almost embarrassed by
      • An innate characteristic that I haven’t embraced
    • I actually feel very shy. I’m embarrassed, mildly ashamed
      • I don’t like this part of myself
        • I feel very seedy, disgusting, gross, not fit for polite society
        • I’m gross. This part of me, this characteristic is just ucky. It is sexual in some way, raunchy
      • There is this whole beautiful world of joy, elegance, freedom, airiness
        • But I am too gross to join it. I just have to stay here, with the grossness
          • I aspire to enter into that freedom, but something keeps me here instead. Away from it.

 

C2:

Performed October 16th 2016:

  • Again, I feel inferior. I feel humble to the point of being ashamed of myself
    • Very poor self esteem. I think very badly of myself
  • I just don’t think that well of myself. I am lesser, and thinking that seems entirely right and proper
    • What I am doing feels so right, but I think so poorly of myself for doing it
  • That raunchiness is something that I love
    • But it’s wrong. It is dirty and disgraceful!
      • To like this, or worse yet, to feel such a pull to it, is to be lesser as a person. There is something wrong with me that I feel such a strong pull here
        • I’m defective, deviant
        • I am truly lesser than others that do not have this attraction
          • There are feelings of deep shame, sadness about this status, and humility so great to be a vice

C3:

Performed October 17th 2016:

  • I feel inferior again. Lesser than. Damaged and flawed.
  • I feel really beaten down by this. Very oppressed, very sad
    • I feel the disdain of the world continues to pile down upon me
      • The scorn, the disdain, the shame. All of it wrenching
    • I just accept this with great humility. I think less of myself because of it. I’m not self destructive, but simply have low self regard without being self hating
      • Humility gone too far
    • I feel a black cloud enveloping me, weighing me down.
      • Life is sapped of all it’s joys, including the raunchiness I previously enjoyed
        • I’m exhausted. Nothing tastes good. I don’t enjoy anything.
          • I’m weighed down and heavy. My joints ache
        • All of the symptoms of depression, without the self destructiveness so often found in modern presentations
          • I just sit and endure it. I think less of myself, but do not destroy myself or even hate myself
        • There is regret and sadness, heartache and the pain of rejection
        • I’m sad in this situation, but I do not regret my calling. I would still follow it, despite it’s consequences- I would still do my calling!
          • But alas! The depression stops even my desire for it!
            • I just want to escape this whole mess, to not feel this way

 

C4

 

This level of trituration show the being losing it’s sense of shame and being embraced as a normal member of society. The being has an inherent faith in it’s own goodness, a proclivity that stems so deeply from its own true nature must in and of itself be good. Along with this sense of self acceptance, is a large social indifference to it’s proclivities, again speculated to be into the sexual realm. The being is able to live openly and even be accepted. An analogy can be drawn to the increasing acceptance of Homosexuality in Western societies in the past decade.

 

Performed October 18th 2016:

  • I feel like weeping for joy
    • I feel relaxed in some way, the depression has lifted
  • It’s like I am suddenly able to do my thing, to engage in raunchiness, to be sexy in this particular way without ostracism
    • I’m not ashamed of it anymore
      • I can do it without being weighed down by depression, In effect, it is innocent to me now
    • I have the feeling that I can now engage in my calling, this activity I am drawn to proudly, with the full knowledge and even approval of society
      • I’ve lost the shame
        • I feel almost accepted, as if my calling is a matter of indifference now. I’m normal!
        • I feel like I can pursue this interest without shame. I’m good. I have confidence
          • My interest is a characteristics of me and it therefore good
        • I have inherent goodness within me. That interest stems from that goodness, as a part of myself
          • Anything stemming from me so truly is not evil
        • I honestly think this interest is sexual, for this remedy. An unusual fetish, like being a furry
          • Even if it is a tad unusual, this urge stems from a good place and is and of itself right for me to do!

 

C5
This level of trituration shows the being with a far more intellectual attitude towards it’s proclivities than in C1-3. It has a strong calling, an intellectual fascination with a particular sexual activity. The being feels a strong external pressure to get it to disengage with this activity, and this pressure will attempt to try to influence others to ostracize the being for it’s proclivity. The being however believes in what it is doing, and refuses to comply, have deep confidence in it’s own interest and is determined to free itself from this external oppression.

 

Performed October 19th 2016:

  • I feel good again, more calm and more conscious
    • My interest is now intellectual. There is an intellectual component to my proclivity now
      • This activity fascinates me. It calls to me. I’m engaged with it on every level
        • But there is blowback from this, emerging from the outside
          • I get the sense of this dark angry energy from outside of myself
            • It seeks to disrupt my engagement with this activity
              • But it shouldn’t do this. There is nothing wrong with this!
            • That energy is trying to disengage me from my calling, to stop me from doing it
              • But why?
              • If it cannot do this directly, this energy will turn others against me, hence the disdain and bigotry I felt in C1-3
                • Yet here I have confidence. This energy is wrong to restrict what I am doing. What I am doing is unconventional, but it is not wrong
                  • Restricting or influencing me away from my calling is wrong!
                    • Now the issue facing me is strategic
                      • “How to overcome this issue, how to minimize it’s influence over my life and remove it’s obstruction of my interest”
                    • I’m determined to do this, to free myself from this oppression and interference

[i] Silver, N. The Comey Letter probably cost Clinton the Election. May 3 2017. https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/the-comey-letter-probably-cost-clinton-the-election/

Image Credit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Drosophila_melanogaster_-_side_(aka).jpg